Where does time go?

Good morning blogging world. It's been 2 weeks since I last posted (I know, shame on me), and a lot has happened in that short span of time.

Last time I posted we had just applied with our adoption agency and were getting ready for our first visit. In the meantime, we had received our mountain of paperwork and the plan was to discuss all of this with them when we met.

Needless to say, we were a little overwhelmed about everything but not nervous. Actually, excited is a better word. Our social workers are great. Notice I said social workers. We actually have 2 that are working with us. The person that is handling our case is actually a graduate student at VCU, and she is performing her internship with our agency. She likes to say that we get 2 social workers for the price of 1, and it kind of is true as her mentor picks up anything that the intern doesn't know. Anyways, we couldn't be happier with them as far as organization, timeliness, and comfortableness.

Our first meeting went well. We went through all of the paperwork and received answers to most of our questions. A lot of our issues have to deal with how we fill out the paperwork, as most of you know that Virginia does not allow us to adopt together. So, officially I am the one that is legally adopting; that is, one day there will be a little Leone running around this house. That's just on paper, though, as our child will be raised with the best qualities from the Leone AND Harris families. The name is just a formality, but Jason wanted the child to be a Leone since his family already has so many Harris children and my family does not. How sweet of someone to want to pass on the chance of extending their last name for the sake of their partner's heritage? I can't say enough how thankful I am for Jason. He is the most compassionate and caring person I know. So, although I am technically adopting, our agency realizes that we are a couple - a married couple in all ways (although not legally) - so they want to know everything about both of us. How cool is that!

Once we finished our first meeting, our next task was to write an autobiography/life story about ourselves. Seems pretty easy, right? Well, I wouldn't say it is difficult; rather, just time consuming. Think back throughout your own childhood - how were you raised; what were your parents like; describe fond memories; how were you disciplined; what would you do differently; describe life struggles; describe strengths and weaknesses; how would you raise a child; and any other personal, philosophical or social questions you can think of. Luckily, they gave us an outline to follow. So, 22 pages letter, my life story was complete. I think it's a great exercise for anyone to try. Put your life down on paper, and really reflect on it. It's a game changer.

Our social worker stressed not to put off or wait on completing this life story, as it is necessary before we can schedule our 2nd visit. So, when we left their office on Friday, Jason and I knew the task at hand and by Tuesday of the following week we had completed our autobiographies. Yes, that is not a typo - 4 days later. Needless to say, our social worker was impressed and surprised that we had accomplished this in such a short period of time. But, the way I see it is that this home study period is the only thing I have any kind of control over in this adoption process. If I took 3 weeks to write my story, that would be 3 weeks later before I could say I was approved to adopt. What if there was a birthmother out there and she was looking for a couple like Jason and I but couldn't work with us because we were not approved? Just the thought of that; that because I delayed my home study I lost out on a chance to be a father really gets to me so that is why we made it a priority to finish so quickly. Besides, after the home study is complete, it's just a wait and see period beyond our control.

We now have our second visit this coming Friday, and they are actually visiting our home this time. I wouldn't say I'm nervous either. Again, I feel really comfortable with our social workers and am excited that we are moving so quickly. I just hope it continues down this path.

Where does time go? I can't quite say. It's hard to believe we are getting ready for our 2nd visit. After this, it's only one more visit and then we should be approved to adopt. At first, it seemed like an insurmountable task. Now, step by step, I can see our pathway forward.

I'm going to leave you with a quote I came across that I think best epitomizes my journey to fatherhood:

 

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
- Christopher Reeve

~Anthony